Brainley stands outside in front of a sign reading "BACON INSTITUTE".

Brainley: Here at the Bacon Institute we're constantly working to advance the field of Baconology.

Cut to shot of a bacon slice under a bell jar.

Brainley: Here is the International Prototype Bacon Slice. This platinum-iridium standard object is the reference from which all other bacon measurements are calibrated.

Cut to shot of a oddly-shaped toiroidal chamber with a shaker of bacon bits attached on one end.

Brainley: And this beauty here is our bacon-bit collider, with which we hope to finally measure the Strong Bacon Force.