Narrator: And so our valiant hero finds himself lost in the Sedona desert, searching in vain for the fabled "Sedona Vortex"...

We see the Arizona desert as viewed through binoculars.

Narrator: But a prodigious discovery...

Cut to a shot of a spinning yellow-and-red spiral painted on the side of a cliff, behind a carnival-style sign proclaiming it to be "THE VORTEX". Another sign stands to the right of the first sign, just off screen and in front of it.

Narrator: ...is soon revealed to be something else entirely.

Zoom in on the second sign. It features a ruler and a stick pointing horizontally off of the top. It reads: "You must be this tall to ride THE VORTEX".

Narrator: An impasse.

Zoom out to a view of the desert.

Brainley (off in the distance): #^%*$!!!